Tea at the Dale House
Kevin Comiskey
One of the current bestsellers is Greg Mortenson’s book, Three Cups of Tea, a story of the people of Balti, who live high in the Himalayas. It goes like this: “The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die.” (p.150) Mortenson drank buckets of tea with the Balti and ended up helping them meet one of their deepest desires – schools for their children. Can one cup of tea really be the beginning of something grand?
Of course, it doesn’t have to be tea. It can be a cup of hot chocolate or coffee . . . or a walk around the block, or a hike through the woods . . . or listening to someone’s story, or visiting a sick room . . . just taking that first step to express interest in someone. At the Dale House it’s called relational ministry . . . reaching out, spending time, getting to know someone well enough to become more than acquaintances . . . finding a way to invest in the lives of others. For us that may be sitting down with a resident and filling out a job application form, celebrating a birthday, eating dinner together, working side by side during work crew, or just asking, “How was your day?” and listening intently to the answer. Tea time even gets lots of mention in the Bible.
It all starts in Mark1:17-20 with Jesus’ invitation to follow Him. The second cup of tea involves a longer process of living with Jesus for three years . . . watching Him, listening to Him, working alongside Him, sharing in miracles, getting to know and becoming known . . . but still not knowing all. When it came time for commitment, the companions of those years waivered and fell away (Mark 14). Then came the resurrection, and they knew all at last and came to the table gladly for that third cup of tea . . . commitment to a family unto death as the Head of that family already demonstrated in such a glorious fashion (Mark 16, Luke 24, Matthew 28). We see some of this same process in kids who come to the Dale House.
When “Jason” entered the Dale House, he was on his third cup of tea with his gang. The tattoos which covered his arms were visible signs of that commitment. He struggled with our rules forbidding gang dress, gang signs, gang language, and his “tea of choice” – alcohol. He had been at the Dale House for a couple of months when we took our annual trip to California, in which he challenged our staff on numerous occasions because of the strong influence of gangs in some areas they visited. Upon returning to Dale House, he had a serious drinking incident, which threatened his stay. He pleaded for another chance and was allowed to remain at Dale House. Later, he confessed to one of our staff that he had sipped his first cup of tea at Dale House . . . well, what he actually said was, “While I was in California, I began to think that I really wanted to be at Dale House.” But, it was just a sip.
He sipped a second cup several weeks later after sneaking out and attending a hard-drinking gang party, where he was attacked and severely beaten. More and more he was seeing that he had choices to make. When he returned to Dale House, he said, “I want to live differently than my family and my gang, I just don’t know how.” What a joy for us to offer him another cup of tea.
We know Jason will continue to struggle. After all, it took the disciples three years to make up their minds about Jesus, and they walked with Him in the flesh! But we see Jason reaching for the cup. He recently enrolled in community college and told one of our staff, “No one in my whole family has even graduated from high school, and I’m going to college!” He now has a vision and hope, and as we drink our communion cups in our various churches, we will pray that Jason will strive for that third cup of tea.
